The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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