I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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