i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize