I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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