two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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