I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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