remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He has the fingertips of a God
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