he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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