Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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