My nipple is on Facebook.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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