so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize