I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize