I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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