So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize