Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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