so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize