I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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