one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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