just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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