I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let's get the cat blown out
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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