im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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