shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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