I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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