I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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