I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize