So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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