you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize