Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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