so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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