I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize