someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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