It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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