we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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