its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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