its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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