His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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