Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize