I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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