I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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