omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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