You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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