then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize