As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
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The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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