No stitches, just platelets and will power
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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