pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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