Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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