Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize