It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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