I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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