it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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